Living Lessons Blog
Just another WordPress.com weblogViruses as a Form of Communication
H1N1 just showed up (again) in the Philadelphia area.
I got this new flu because a young woman in my place of work, 22 years old, without health insurance became sick. She’s working two jobs, one of which involves kids in a public library setting. Despite working two jobs, Ms. X can’t afford health care, so she didn’t have herself tested or treated for the flu. She came to work not feeling well figuring frequent hand washing would do the trick, perhaps not appreciating the airborn nature of most UR viruses. Ms. X fell ill and while she did miss two days of work on Thursday and Friday, she had already exposed the rest of us and half of us were already really quite sick by the following Monday. I finished up a job for her which involved handling papers she’d touched.
Fortunately, it’s a small company with a handful of employees, but of those of us taken out of commission by this bug, the younger people are definitely not bouncing back as fast as one might think.
H1N1 is a new virus. A new life species. Which is really amazing when you take a moment to think about it. Where did it come from? What force of nature called it forth? Why now?
I’ve come to believe that viruses are a fast acting communication between nature and the subset of animals which make up “nature.” Human beings are part of this animal group, despite our denial that this is the case. The communication is at a level our conscious minds wouldn’t be able to absorb, information we would refuse to believe. Like the news that a devastating earthquake or tsunami is on the horizon. Or that Israel might decide to attack Iran’s previously undisclosed nuclear testing facilities. In pre-emptive self-defense, of course. Screw the rest of the world. It’s all about Israel’s right to exist even if in defending this right, Israel takes out a significant portion of the world’s population as a result of escalated conflict in the Middle East. Not Israel’s problem, right? Hey, they didn’t start it. The Iranian’s did. This perspective is self-destructive in the long term while self-defensive in the short run.
Any leadership contemplating that a scenario attacking Iran as both rational and justified is hard to imagine.
Maybe this is why we need this new flu, so we can all be sick before such an event takes place and some of us can choose to check out with respiratory distress before being forced to breathe in more bomb-irradiated air. Not so good for the lungs, either.
Screaming, on the other hand, is excellent for the lungs.
Time for human animals to all give a mighty yell. One that will drown out the white chatter of media pundits, the General McChrystles, the Ayotollahs, the Sarah Palins and the Eric Cantors, the Netanyahus of our age.
Time for the human animals to scream bloody legalized murder, don’t you think?
There were major flu pandemics either prior to or just after World War I and World War II. Millions of people died in these pandemics. Many of them young and seemingly healthy. Is Mother Nature is responding to our obvious, long-standing intention to kill each other in large number? Has Mother Nature decided, since this is our global intention, why should she and the rest of the living species which are more or less a peaceful part of her expression have to absorb the environmental fall-out of nuclear bomb tests and nuclear proliferation? More man-made shock and awe? Why not let mothers nurse their boys at bedside as their sons draw their last breath rather than never seeing their children again because they’ve been blown up in Afghanistan?
As the H1N1 moves under our skins, a rather frightful lottery begins. The timing is interesting. America can’t seem to wrap its arms around health care reform. What would a nationwide flu pandemic create within the failing structures of existing health care policy? Hospitals in the Philadelphia area are preparing to set up tents, and those sickened by the swine flu will be treated outside hospital walls. Tents filled with patients in winter time? Nursing staff are being instructed not to come to work if they become sick — which is common sense. So who is going to care for Philadelphians/Americans who are going to need more than aspirin, fluids, and hot baths to survive H1N1?
Here in the U.S., much of our work force has been displaced or down-sized thanks to globalization. Workers are expected to respect geographical, national borders when financial borders between nation states no longer exist and money moves around the globe in the blink of an eye. The American work force is doing more with fewer workplace protections in place since the systematic gutting of unions began in the ’80s. We workers are expected to stay put in our failing villages, neighborhoods and cities. Housing policies will ensure that we do. We are expected to keep on working harder, with two people doing the work four people once did. Domestic economic policies without tightened banking restrictions, financal market regulations and real, effective Congressional oversight will ensure we’ll keep on keeping on, just so. Obstruction of campaign finance reform will ensure that we will spend every last dime trying to stay alive in a capitalist, free market framework that requires we become paupers before we die, giving every last cent to a health related service or product, leaving nothing behind for our families to build and grow on. No helping hand up for our grandchildren. No bail outs for our sons and daughters. No health care reform for those who have worked hard all their lives or up until their first major illness.
American workers are stressed out about a failing economy where all the gold has been skimmed off the top by YOU KNOW WHO. They are afraid of being unemployed, so they are working harder and producing more, while receiving less for the exchange of their labor/time for money. With each passing day workers and retirees are less able to afford quality food, let alone quality health care. So these folks are more likely to get sick, and perhaps just sick enough to lose the job that can’t afford to pay their health care.
Since the financial markets and globalization have gutted our economy, and we no longer produce enough durable goods to balance out our deficit equation, then surely “sickness” must be the new American product? And, if sickness is the new product, it doesn’t have to be exported. We can keep all those dollars right here. No cheaper drugs from Canada, even though cheaper drugs are available.
Health care costs eats up one-sixth of our economy. Sickness must be what we all want since so much of our nation’s resources go toward the business of being sick. Right? I mean, where you put your attention and energy will expand. This is Universal law.
Could be time for another massive “die off.” This would be quite logical, naturally speaking. With a world-wide flu pandemic and significant death toll, there will be fewer displaced workers and wages will go up wherever the principle of supply and demand rules. The rub is the remaining workforce will be older, workers with (one hopes) historical memory and perspective about the good old days before the American dream became morphed into a dark, shadowy parody of itself. Before their children and grandhildren preceded them in death rather then being burdened by debt and no way out of indebtedness.
And, of course, it’s at this precise moment in history that Iran wants to be the latest member of the Plutonium Club.
Nature may be saying with H1N1…hey, you want to kill yourselves by the droves? Okay, happy to help you out. Less wear and tear on the rest of the natural world if humans die of a new virus than contaminate more of my precious work with your…um…toys. New virus coming your way. Young people (no one to fight the wars), pregnant women — oooh, yeah — let’s cut life off at the well spring. Even more efficient. Fewer humans born to replace the ones who are intent on killing each other and the ones too selfish to take good care of one another when the fundamental resources are all in place (thanks to me, Mother Nature) and national health care is within reach.
This is the gist of the communication I got from the new H1N1 flu as I lay in bed, not quite sure myself this might not be a really good time to kiss it all good-bye.
Check out the timing between past flu pandemics and world wars between major world powers. Stock up on Vitamin C. Wash your hands, and then scream your digital lungs out at the Blue Dog Democrats and the No Ideas Republicans!
Election Backlash, Health Care, Climate Change
Growing pains. This is the phrase I’ve gone back to over the last few weeks, post the ‘post-racial’ saga of Skip Gates and the Sticky Front Door. Poised in the brink of major involuntary change, America is going through severe growing pains. When I was a youth, making all kinds of bad decisions because I had some difficult lessons to learn growing pains is what the elders in the family would say, with sage nods of graying heads.
Every time I sit down to the keyboard and write a political essay for this blog, I do it because I have become so agitated by our national story and the pock marks of confusion on the complexion of our society I am compelled to jump into the cultural fray with my know-it-all blah, blah, blah opinionated self. I write these essays because my perspective, insight and analysis are not the usual fare and are much needed — or so the people who continue reading these posts assure me, as they respond with generous thank yous and well dones.
So, here’s what I think is going on right about now.
Everybody — everybody walked on egg shells through the election. Nobody wanted to stand out as being opposed to Barack Obama’s’ presidency on purely racial grounds, nobody wanted to be identified as racist or risk being called a racist. Most Americans have evolved enough for us to comprehend such an attitude would be — well, shameful. We’ve been on our best behavior for six whole months through a great deal of national angst. Growing pains? Please. We did it! We crossed over, and there is no going back. Didn’t you know that electing Barack Obama president means racism, racial bias and prejudice in America is a thing of the past? It’s officially over.
You can’t unring a bell or unscramble an egg but you can revert to type. One can be a recidivist when it comes to racial bias and prejudice. Those folks who have been hiding since the Inauguration, smiling and pretending to be “cool” and “down with it” have reverted back to type with their vitrolic outrage spewing again, and the single most important issue to the well-being of our economy and future long term economic recovery is being high-jacked by a post election racial backlash that erupted post the Skip Gates thang. A Black Man had the affrontery to use the word “stupidly” in reference to a white man’s actions within the context of a group action. Oh, my God. He used this word in public — in a press briefing. Oh, my God. He dared to lump white people together. Oh, Jesus save us! Everyone knows the cultural norm in America and the world where power is in play: only people of color are viewed as a monolith — where one person of color speaks or acts for all persons of color. Every body knows white folks are only and ever responded to as…individuals. If only this current backlash was actually about health care. But it isn’t.
We seem to have acquired a national version of ADD.
When we stood back and watched billions of taxpayer dollars going to bail out failing banks and insurance companies, we grumbled, but there was no talk of death panels for the captains of industry who had run the country into a ditch. There was no question but we had to do what we had to do. Suck it up and hope for the best without even initiating serious public debate (town hall meetings) as part of substantially revising financial institution regulations, the lack of which that made the crash of the system not only possible, but sadly — easy, inevitiable — and yes, profitable.
There were no angry mobs at town meetings around the country demanding better government oversight of our financial institutions and their unbelievably slick fleecing of the middle class and lower class aspiring to homeownership and relaxed retirement. CEOs “earning” multi-million dollar salaries with borrowed money from you and I? No problemo. But when it comes to balancing the scales by providing a public, or God forbid, a single payer health care option for Americans who don’t ‘earn’ multi-million dollar salaries? All hell breaks loose!
Once again, I am saddened by the confusion, fear and destructive trance of misinformation so many Americans fall into like a stampeding pack of lemmings leaping over a cliff.
I mean, I know the country as a whole has been intentionally dumbed down for the last thirty years, and so why should I expect an intelligent response from citizens whose emotional intelligence equals that of an average eight year old?
I mean, I know the middle class has been so unbelievably gullible, not recognizing the intrinsic value of an organized workplace, the right to organize, or unions. And, believe me, I think unions can be problematic and just as corrupt as any other human organization. Be that as it may be, we working folks just sucked it up — again — when the multinationals were granted legal status as individuals and set about gutting our hard good manufacturing base, leaving the economy to run on consumer credit until we hit the wall and can no longer afford to buy what we no longer make, and can no longer afford to keep ourselves healthy so we can keep on going to work every day — those of us with jobs in this recession — so we will continue using credit cards to keep on buying things we don’t need, don’t make, and can’t afford working three food service industry jobs per family.
This just isn’t a sustainable economic model. Ask Kevin Phillips.
Okay. Here comes Obama, and with him – ostensibly — the Democratic platform creating the opportunity to set right the balance between those using the free market to wreck the country and those holding this country together through honesty, basic goodness and hard work. At last here is the chance for a legitimate and deserved PAY BACK for Joe Six Pack in the form of health care as a national commitment to our economy. But instead of giving the same kind of “yeah, it has to be done” acquiescence we gave to invading Iraq and bailing out the people for whom that war was really fought — multinational corporations — we turn against ourselves and some go so far as to accuse President Obama of being “racist” — thank you, Glen Beck. Thank you, advertisers for dropping your sponsorship of Glen Beck’s radio show.
We accuse a black Congressmen of being a Nazi and communists in the same breath — obviously, dumbing down of the nation has led to not knowing the difference between facism and communism, or the fact that Nazis were all about destroying anyone who wasn’t pure Aryan white — so a ‘nigger Nazi’ is an historical oxymoron born of say, Oxycontin? We seem eager to be misinformed with vigor equal only to that of how misinformed we were — intentionally — about the need to invade Iraq.
How dare any American not be able to afford private health insurance? How dare any American be so — so — so — lacking in personal responsibility! How dare any public assistance collecting, slacking, baby-mama, poverty-ridden free-loading SOB think they deserve the right to health care, or hospice care, or an organ transplant, or the right to counseling on what kind of end of life options they’d like to have?
The image of poor America has a black face on it. The marketing campaign to make sure this is how we continue to see people of color in this country was extremely successful through the70’s and 8o’s.
Let’s not forget it was Hilary Clinton, First Bitch, whose fault it is health care reform previously failed because she was just too — competent and strident about the issue. Now, it’s the racist Obama’s fault.
Oh, my God. If we fail to take care of our best interests, it will have nothing to do with industry lobbyists, campaign contributions, or Blue Dog Democrats reverting to type?
Where is the outrage over the cost of free three squares and basic health care for all the black Americans and poor Americans who fill up the prisons we can’t build fast enough? That’s a single payer option system, and we’re the single payers. So, convicted and imprisoned felons have a right to basic health care. No problemo. Millions of folks contributing nothing but heartache to our society have access to better health care than say, someone like me. Who has none. Who has no permanent job, but who has contributed to fine young men to America who are not in prison, who are productive, responsible, hard-working and committed to the well-being of their local communities. One of whom is on his way into the MBA program at Yale on a full scholarship.
So aside from working most of my life and supporting public schools with my tax dollars even as my sons attend private schools paid for out of my pocket, even as I’ve made these two major human energy contributions to our society I haven’t earned the right to coverage until such time as I am employed again in a situation where I would happily pay $400/month in health care — which, by the way, I have never used for a major illness as I believe in and practice preventive medicine on my own body.
So, the curren emotionally charged conversation isn’t really about health care, or health care reform, or now, even health insurance reform. It’s about a race/class backlash we want to pretend isn’t happening. One black American man at the top is no more disquieting than Michael Jordan being a freak superstar. We can all handle that. We can handle subsidizing ridiculously inflated salaries within the financial sector, and we will suck up bailing out AIG. If that money had been given to individual Americans on a per capita basis, we could all afford health care for many years to come. But when we begin to share taxpayer resources so the average black American man flipping burgers at McDonald’s can have regular physicals and his mom can have a mammogram? Hold up.
Oh, my beloved country. How are we going to solve the complexity of climate change when we can’t see this forest for its trees? There will not be enough money to pay for the cost of the kinds and frequency of disease our grandchildren will suffer if we don’t curb in our excesses, perhaps making it possible for another generation or two to breath on planet earth — for free. The next health care rationing will be oxygen and who gets to breathe what. Way worse than how environmental toxins and proximity to same are being rationed at the moment. Not to mention mass starvation because our insect pollinators are dying off and we will not be able to replace them with robot drones.
Oh, beautiful for spacious skies, oh, amber waves of grain, for purple mountains majesty above the fruited plains.
America, America, WAKE UP!
Human Nature Now Has a Human Face: Michael Jackson’s U.S. Memorial
July 2, 2009: After a week of watching CNN and MSNBC, and NBC — mainstream media — I am completely disgusted with the coverage. I write a wild, impassioned rant to an email group I’m part of. I am so angry that I email Anderson Cooper and ask him to look in the mirror, and change the man in the mirror, because by this point Cooper is pushing hard on the drugs and money angles of the story as the only angles worth focusing on. Even going so far as to send Dr. Sanjay Gupta to the door of a former treating physician of Jackson’s who a decade ago, it has been verified, administered Diprivan to Michael Jackson in a non-hospital, non-specific surgical procedure setting. Dr. Gupta looked extremely uncomfortable in this new role, and I felt embarassed for him.
July 3rd: I turned on the news and there it was again — wild speculation about who would get custody of Michael Jackson’s children and control of his estate, even after a will had been found. And then I saw IT, I saw the beast so clearly.
I went to my email group and ranted. They listened, they’ve been replying all along to the thread I started about Michael Jackson’s life and death in our group’s exchange. One response was that my thread shone a bright light onto the street gossip: “Only in America can a black man turn into a white woman.” Several responses had that tone, you know, that ‘he got what he deserved and what his money would buy’ tone, that ‘he was nothing but a fubar junkie’ tone.
This reply in particular pushed me into a deeper truth masked by such wise-ass snarking to another layer waiting to reveal itself. Only in America would a black man ( black men being the most imperiled adult human beings in America on the planet) need to become a submissive white woman (statistically, white woman are the safest people in the world when it comes to survival issues like clean water, adequate food, and medical care) in order to feel safe. Feeling safe seemed to be Michael Jackson’s number one need in life, more than the money and the fame, or maybe because of the money and the fame.
More and more dominoes fell into place, waking me up inside the feeding frenzy trance produced by the white lens of mainstream media coverage. There is no kinder, gentler way to say this.
White mainstream media’s craving to determine who gets the money and who owns the children completely objectified and dehumanized Michael Jackson and his three children. To be fair, the same thing was done with Anna Nicole Smith. But there was no effort to stray from the easily regurgitated old media talking points about Michael, The Child Molester, no juice from forging new ground into a more unbiased inquiry into who the man might really be and certainly that would mean there would be less writing to do. Then Rev. Al Sharpton, speaking truth to power once again, chastised Anderson Cooper for lack of balance in his coverage of Michael Jackson’s life storyon CNN when the Wonder Boy hadn’t yet been laid to rest.
Already angry beyond containment, I emailed Anderson Cooper challenging him to some in depth reporting on Michael Jackson’s humanitarian efforts, his philanthropy around the world. You know, who, what, where, when, why and with what result. Journalism 101. Which has nothing whatever to do with the white media storytelling lens of who’s in control and who owns what. Cover details about giving money away, about Jackson being the most philanthropic celebrity ever? Who would want to know that side of Michael Jackson when we can keep on dishing speculation and dirt? I even went so far as to suggest perhaps Anderson Cooper needed Soledad O’Brien’s help gaining a bit more perspective and finding another lens through which Michael Jackson’s story could be told.
I’m sure Anderson Cooper was deluged with thousands of emails just ike mine. The deformity in his coverage was so blatant, so twisted, so taking for granted that this is the only way to tell Michael Jackson’s story. Who cares about the truth? Or about Michael Jackson the man?
I had to take a time out. Sunday I fasted from the media toxicity and rejoiced in Michael’s music and his talent. Monday, I did the same, although I did continue to tune into Larry King Live, and Larry King’s tour of Neverland. Just shy of being patronizing, Larry King seemed genuinely surprised that a flamboyant-just-this-side-of-drag-queen-besequined pop star could have created so beautiful, tranquil and understated an estate. By Tuesday morning, Anderson’s edge had softened and sitting there was Soledad O’Brian, fulfilling my vision of how news coverage could be transformed once such a decision was consciously made.
Larry King was similarly surprised by the elegance and good taste of Michael Jackson’s public memorial service in Los Angeles on Tuesday, the 8th of July.
July 8, 2009: It was as beautiful a memorial service as the core of brilliance which made Michael Jackson who he was to many of us — so far ahead of us, now forever. One by one, the people who knew, loved, respected, admired, mentored, and cherished Michael Jackson succeeded in humanizing him for those who preferred believing the worst, warming the chill of the dark side of their human nature in the spotlights aimed straight at the “mess,” to quote Rev. Al Sharpton. Rev. Sharpton succeeded, once again, in coming up with a potent, brutally truthful one -iner. “There was nothing strange about your daddy. The stuff your daddy had to deal with was strange.” Amen.
A particularly poignant moment? Usher’s delicate, loving and soulful lullabye “Gone Too Soon” and the loving touch, the hand on the coffin. (Anderson Cooper asked Larry King if he knew what the coffin was made of because it looked expensive.) The most surprising moment? John Mayer up there squeezing Human Nature out of his guitar, having had the good sense to leave the vocals an empty space. I imagined Michael Jackson listening to Mayer’s work at home on his stereo system and digging it. The sweetest moment? Brooke Shields remembering her dear, funny friend. The funniest moment? Magic Johnson being blown away by Michael Jackson eating Kentucky Fried Chicken. The most strident and political moment? The poke at Michael’s detractors from Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee and the King children laying out a refresher course in Michael Jackson’s importance in the scheme of changing the social landscape of the country, paving the way for Obama’s election with unifying messages like Black or White.
And there it was, the antidote to the toxicity of the endlessly spewing media Beast, Black American Culture unspoken testimony at the conclusion of the memorial service. ”He’s ours, now. Leave him be. We always accepted him. Gay, black, white, confused, lonely, eccentric because you forced him into the white American trap. We all know it, and you know it. He’s free now. You can’t hurt him, or twist him into something he’s not so hard he had to find a self-destructive way to ease the pain. He’s ours, always was; we see him, always did. You made him into your creature, but he was Wonder Boy who walked on the Moon, defying gravity and your determination to destroy him for forty years.”
The most tender moment? Of course Paris’s tearful affirmation of how wonderful her daddy was and how very much she loves him.
I’m posting the group email exchange which unfolded over these last two weeks up on my web site: http://www.wix.com/vtyaya/Anaiis-Salles
and will shop this post, my first post on Wonder Body, and the group email exchange as an article in its own right. It’s worth doing if we’re going to stand up strong in Michael’s challenge to start looking in the mirror and making that change.
July 12, 2009. Now Michael’s dermatologist and friend is spilling an awful lot of beanstalk beans. Do your HIPPA rights go out the window after you die?
July 14, 2009: Latoya Jackson may be making some dough on the Who Done What To Who aspects of the undetermined cause of death. She’s Joseph Jackson’s child if she got two cents for that story. Rumor has it Joe Jackson is already scheming on how to “promote” Prince, Paris, and Blanket. Which is why he was left out of the will. Some folks can’t take a hint. None of this has been substantiated as fact, so the emotional manipulation of the American public continues at a slow, steady burn. Still good for ratings and ad copy.
Michael, now that you’re gone, your humanity shines back to with gorgeous, generous, innocent, greedy ferocity. At least to me. Thank you.
Michael Jackson: Wonder Boy and King of Pop
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgtWIx2zLtk YouTube, Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKW3PpgF3JA&feature=related
YouTube, Michael Jackson, Human Nature, concert rehearsal — fabulous…
There is no way not to add my two cents about the sudden death of the King of Pop. I confess to going unpredictably, inexplicably wild for pop music every now and then. Boy bands? Be still my heart. Back Street Boys? N-Synch? Hormonal howling at the moon and at the heart, body and soul? Please. The Jackson 5 was the first boy band, and Michael Jackson was the Wonder boy. I’m a woman of color and knew way back what the Wonder Boy was up to, making it fun for us let go off a few more cultural barriers. How many of us said “Huh…whoah now” when Thriller showed up on MTV?
Thank you, Deepak Chopra, for contributing to today’s media buzz with an honest, loving tribute to the Wonder Boy and deeper insight into Michael Jackson’s lifestyle choices and behavior people were so quick to denegrate, eager to focus on the negative.
Michael Jackson died of a broken heart no matter what turns out be the official cause of death.
I’m thinking his soul just didn’t want to go through it again — that bliss wave that always gets lost in earth’s density, the comeback that wouldn’t have come back to Michael with enough real love. Even though Michael’s mind was willing to climb one more hill. You know the kind of love we need to actually change our lives and our world. The world Michael wanted to live in, and wanted for his children. For real.
I maintain that as much as Michael, the boy, was abused by those he loved and as much as Michael, the man, was exploited by many who both touched and invaded his life, Michael the creative genius — the ground-breaking cultural dynamo, the dazzling dancer, and loving father — had a purpose in life. He fulfilled this purpose, and like others of his ilke, Life demanded as much in return, if not more, than it gave him to live, sing, dance, share and generate the bliss living fully connected to his radiant, ecstatic, divine core. The bliss that filled his body every time he performed. This was Michael’s purpose. His talent was given to him in service of this purpose.
Living from your divine core and living on planet Earth is an extremely difficult task.
Robbed of his childhood in exchange for fame and money. Robbed of being able to honestly express his sexuality and erotisicm anywhere but on stage. Robbed of the enjoyment of a life-long intimate partner (male or female) and being forced instead to confine his gift of personal, intimate love to the three children conceived through such unconventional methods. All the money, fame, privilege, celebrity, world travel, luxorious homes, and endless sea of adoring faces and fans never gave him the one simple thing he desired most: to know beyond doubt that he was loved (not adored) — by human beings taller than four feet.
Exceptionally gifted people know without doubt there is a creator and that your creator loves you, laying the world before your feet when you willingly open into your life’s purpose.
But a human need to feel loved in return for the love Michael Jackson gave so generously is what lay behind his perfectionism, the relentless drive to reach higher, faster, farther the next time, the compulson to sculpt his image away from the body image connected with feeling that he was hated by his father, and becoming a slave to creativity when it became a Daimon.
Anyone who knew him personally describes Michael Jackson as gentle, gracious, generous, deeply spiritual, and profoundly distressed by the state of this world that found him bizarre.
I never believed for one second that Michael Jackson had sexually abused a child. Post adolescence, in real life Michael’s sexuality had been completely subsumed, repressed, transcended — perhaps all three — so his need for human contact, physical (non-sexual) touch was met by the little people in his life he assumed could be trusted. The innocence of this dynamic is almost impossible to understand for people nowhere near as complex, energized, gifted and in touch with the divine as Michael Jackson was.
He was not one of us. Michael Jackson went so far beyond what 99.9% of humanity ever allows us to be. Fatally innocent, his life was weighed down by the projected dark shadow of evil to which this kind of creative, energized genius is always subjected.
Michael Jackson knew he had our admiration, respect, adoration, and our wallets but he wasn’t sure if all those nano-flashes meant what he needed them to mean. Or if those nano-flashes of impersonal love beamed back at him from thousands of anonymous lovers on any given night were connected to the real thing, or enough to stop the runaway circus train that had become his public life. After a forty year career, the collective energy Michael Jackson received from audiences and fans never matched the energy he gave out.
I imagine he hoped someday, if the show was big enough and maybe if he worked hard enough, one day, the energy would be an even match and he would feel as much love coming in as he poured out, without ever discovering how to live any other way. He thought his talent bought him the right to just be himself. Wrong.
The last 24 hours? Non-stop celebrations around the world, spontaneous eruptions of Moon Walking, outpourings of grief and accolades, and in all these minutes his music has been playing somewhere in the world or is being bought in affirmation of his formidable gift. The trash talk, the speculation, the judgment, the unjustified fear and loathing weren’t ever, and still aren’t, about you, Michael. The meaness, suspicion, envy, and doubt are all a mirror for us. Sad to say, the loathesome, vile assaults weren’t personal although I’m sure it felt agonizingly personal to you, hiding away in Never Land spending money as fast as you could — the next best thing to being loved.
It’s just the way we roll here on planet Earth, in exactly the same we’re destroying the environment we can’t live without. Go figure.
Wherever you are, Michael (and I believe I know where you are and I may stop by and say hello), freed from your body I hope you can now feel you are indeed loved. Love is what you were made of, love is what you made with your soul, love is what you left us in every word and every note.
Thanks, Michael. The world was changed by you. We’ll miss your brilliance.
C’mon. Tell us. What is your favorite Michael Jackson album, or tune? Mine favorite album is Off The Wall because it provided the first glimpse of what was to come from Michael Jackson, the solo artist.
Prince, are you out there? You owe a tremendous amount to Michael Jackson. Haven’t heard a peep out of you yet. What gives?
The Holocaust Museum Tragedy
Thank you, Officer Stephen Johns, for your service to your country.
Yesterday, you lost your life while protecting several thousand people inside the Holocaust Museum from the homegrown threat posed by James Von Brunn. It’s my hope more facts about your life and character will be broadcast louder and longer by mainstream media than known facts about the lunatic who took your life.
I, for one, want to know all about you. Where did you grow up? Do you have children who are mourning the shocking devastation of the loss of their father? Why were you known by your colleagues as a “gentle giant?” Where did you attend school? Who are your parents? Teachers? Friends? Who loved you, Stephen Johns?
Tough economic times bring the James Von Brunns of this country floating up to the surface like pond scum — the pond on which our leaky canoe of state is simply doing its best not to capsize. The Stephen Johns of this country are bailing as fast as they can, invisible, in the back of the boat only getting to see where it’s been still having so very little say about where the boat is…heading…if it manages to stay afloat.
White supremacists truly believe that by characteristics of “race” alone — a completely artificial, man-made concept — whites own this world. Everything and everyone on the planet is here to serve their needs, desires, dominance and entitlements. Always have been. Always will be.
White supremacists are our homegrown version of a Taliban. Historically, white supremacy is rooted in and justified by self-proclaimed Christian beliefs.
I’ve seen nan0-splashes of hatred squirting out of my own family members when they perceive their financial well-being threatened by people they love. Being empathetic, I can imagine how feelings of fear and insecurity are easily and unconsciously projected out onto strangers inadvertently engaged in a silent power struggle for what appear to be limited resources.
With 600,000 people identified as out of work and thousands more unemployed but no longer receiving benefits, with the dominance of manufacturing of hard goods in America a thing of the past and hard goods jobs outsourced beginning in the Reagan era, with California on the edge of an infrastructure abyss, we can expect to see more expressions of panic of the Von Brunn variety in a country where legitimate and sane gun control policies remain out of our collective reach and the racial divide is not healed but only tentatively bridged.
Jews running the banks? Negroes running the country? A white supremacists worst paranoid nightmare. I felt exactly the same sense of fear and loathing when Dubya was running the country and white male CEOs and their Wall Street accomplices ran our economy aground. The difference between struggling with policy course corrections while saddened, subdued and sane citizens swallow the bitter pill that America’s best days are forever a thing of the past and a homegrown American Taliban chief executing a plan for cold blooded murder at a public institution?
That difference is hate.
As in any great drama, there is a good guy and a bad guy. As in many great American dramas, there is a shoot out. A hero and a villain. Who is in which role in the shooting at the Holocaust Museum depends on your internal perspective.
What about hate? What about innocence? What about denial? What about the deeper questions? You know, the ones we didn’t ask when 9/11 happened. Every time hate comes riding in with an intent to kill on a red horse of denial and hate meets up with innocence we have an opportunity to see our bloodstained and distorted human nature more clearly.
Who are Americans really? When are we going to understand that we are failing to nurture emotional intelligence in our schools, public and private? When are we going to have the national conversation about the pond scum? The ones among us who are so deeply polluted with hatred that what appear to be non-human outcomes are created by human minds, hearts and hands in the blink of an eye? When are we going to confront and take responsibility for our nation’s dark side?
Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, James Von Brunn — a distinction between these three men is only a question of degree. They are three branches reaching out from the same tree. Hatred gives license to torture prisoners of war, hatred roots for our President’s failure and hopes for more economic suffering in nation brought to its knees by hatred disguised as a love for democracy and the American way of life, hatred justifies killing for its own sake.
The news cycle will feed on this bizarre collision of national values for seventy-two hours, perhaps a bit more. Through Officer Johns’ funeral. Through Von Brunn’s medical treatment and legal due process. Presuming he survives, which is going to cost us taxpayers a bundle, Von Brunn will get free medical care, a roof over his head and three squares a day for the rest of his life. Now that’s an entitlement plan. Will Von Brunn be water -boarded for information that will keep us all ’safer’?
I want to know what our pastors, churches, school boards, principals and teachers are going to do following this tragic incident to flush out our homegrown white supremacist haters? James Von Brunn was once a child without a rifle, and like it or not, he is an American. He’s one of us.
Officer Johns was one of us. Most of us will find it more palatable to identify with the fallen hero in this drama. In my view, for that very reason, this is a uniquely American tragedy.
July 5th, Independence Day, the sequel, Sick Out: Iraqi F.L.U.
Here’s a post I submitted in February of 2007 on the Vermont Progressive Party Blog. It’s been slightly edited to reflect Obama’s election and my move from Vermont.
The bottom line of the piece is that it’s time for a National Sick Out. For two reasons, both of which support Obama’s agenda for change. The first is: WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF IRAQ. COMPLETELY. NO PERMANENT BASES LEFT BEHIND. TURN THE EMBASSY INTO A MID-EAST REGIONAL HOSPITAL FOR THE TREATMENT OF WAR RELATED INJURIES AND TRAUMA. The second reason is: AMERICANS NEED HEALTH CARE NOW.
Love you. Mean it. Sad to say I no longer live in Vermont. Go Bernie! But there’s a bigger audience where I am. Tell people about this blog!
It was a beautiful day in Berkshire today so I went for a brief walk in the cold, crisp sunshine. Enjoying the crunch my footsteps made in the snow, I headed down the path thinking ‘what a great bunny slope for sledding.’ I imagined the raucous, good fun the child in my life and I could have, screaming with glee as our sled of necessity careened off the steep slope and into a snow bank before barreling smack into the middle of Berkshire Center Road and into harm’s way. I’d have to make sure we changed direction to keep us safe from on-coming traffic.
The child in my life is a bright, beautiful three-year old little girl named Nadja. Nadja doesn’t live in Vermont anymore. Her parents had to find better paying jobs, and my modest and uncertain financial life living paycheck to paycheck – or at times, no paycheck at all, means I can’t afford traveling to see her very often. Nadja means ‘promise’ in Arabic. Nadja is one hundred percent home grown American , neither of her parents being either Arab or Muslim, but she’s one hundred percent screwed in terms of the meaning of her name. On our present dangerous foreign policy course, America holds no promise for Nadja.
It’s been almost three months since the election, two months since the Baker-Hamilton Iraq Study Group presented an alternative political solution to President Bush’s lack of a workable plan in Iraq, three weeks since President Bush purged his dissenting military advisors, two weeks since his new “strategy” of sending 22,000 additional American men and women to Iraq, a week since his State of the Union address in which neither Katrina survivors nor Iraq War veterans were mentioned at all. And it’s only days since President Bush insisted, despite sound advice and factual evidence that our foreign policy has incited civil war in Iraq, that his new ‘strategy’ in Iraq is imperative: we can not, must not fail, American can and must succeed (since we’re not winning and we’re not losing).
Now, as if to do us all one better for calling him out, remember when Commander in Chief Bush issued a new directive: shoot to kill Iranians in Iraq. Our troops in Iraq already have no reliable way of distinguishing Shia from Sunni from legitimate Iraqi forces from Al-Sadr militia from Iraqi insurgents from Al-Qaeda operatives. How does such a deliberately provocative directive serve the goal of winning the war on terror? Have sufficient number of Americans come to the realization that we can’t win a war against a self-constructed ideology: President Bush’s perpetual state of Terror? Terror is an irrational emotion, not a nation state or a political organization.
President Obama needs our help. We need to make sure the Beltway isn’t running the show. We need to make sure the Pentagon isn’t running our foreign policy because guns, tanks and bombs are all the big ticket hard goods anyone will buy these days.
The promise once implied for Nadja — a future in America where all the children in our lives could expect to have a close, loving relationship with their families, attend reasonably good neighborhood schools, finish high school with decent grades, succeed at university in science of math and settle into jobs paying wages sufficient to keep roofs over their heads and food on the table — has been replaced with President Bush’s promise to bring democracy to the Middle East. Both promises are being broken along with our domestic economy.
I take small comfort knowing our Congressional Delegation and most Vermonters continue to resist the national trend toward selective amnesia about the war in Iraq. Do you remember the original chain of events that got us into Iraq – without the spin. Sure you do, although President Bush hopes his spinning out-of-control, deliberate distortion of the truth and fantasy will continue to be accepted as fact. Why? Because he said so. Because he’s the decider.
The facts are finally available. We know what really got us into Iraq. Fear, lies, big business and future non-sustainable energy interests. I’d love to see just one presidential hopeful speak the truth: We made a mistake in Iraq and our next step is reconciliation and diplomatic reparations. This is what mature adults do when our choices prove to be wrong and harmful — we admit we’re wrong, we apologize, and we make amends for the damage we have cause. Some of us even manage to change our future behaviors based on past experience. There is much deeper shame in leaving our young men and women in harm’s way and continuing to devalue Iraqi women, youth and children than admitting we were wrong in trusting the Bush Administration’s assessment of the threat Saddam Hussein posed to the United States. Saddam is dead. There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, only lethal weapons of mass deception here at home with no accompanying yellow, orange or red alerts. So why are we still there? Since November 7th, President Bush’s and Vice President Cheney’s true colors have been all too visible and they are not red, white and blue.
So, despite ‘the thumping’ the Republicans took in November 2006 and despite 70% of Americans knowing the war in Iraq can’t be won militarily, we are supposed to simply accept a spiraling debacle of violence (already supported for four years by our dedicated and excellent service men and women) morphing into an open-ended mission impossible. The new Orwellian logic from the White House? We can’t leave Iraq because we can’t give The Enemy the impression that we don’t support our troops or that we’re ‘soft’ on terror. After four years of combat (when the combat phase was declared over in 2003) and after being assured several times by Vice President Cheney that the insurgency was under control, President Bush wants the Democratic majority to take on the responsibility of coming up with a workable plan for a graceful exit instead of President Bush taking the responsibility for his deeply flawed and clearly failed ideological blunder. How do we make a graceful exit from a country we have destroyed with economic sanctions, irradiated bombs and a fabricated rationale? The answer isn’t 9/11.
The way forward is no longer about President George W. Bush. Finding the way forward falls directly into our hands and is now our responsibility as our President has clearly demonstrated neither he nor his administration is up to the task. It is time to reorient our attention away from the President’s state of denial and destructive impulses toward our real domestic necessities, our neglected international responsibilities, and the revitalization of a functional democracy at home – not left, not right, but whole. The newly elected Congress must not fall into the political and psychological trap of trying to win a hand in the game laid out to them by the Bush Administration. Congress has the support of the majority of Americans and it needs to change the game, or better yet to end this game entirely.
What must we do, now, to go forward on this one single issue? According to a recent poll, 70% of Americans now disapprove of President Bush’s mishandling of the Iraq War. It is not the job of the newly elected Congress to frame and/or adjust foreign policy; this is the President’s job. However, it is the newly elected Congress’s responsibility to have the courage to function as the checks and balances co-equal branch of our government it is meant to be. This is Congress’ charged duty under the Constitution which all members of Congress swear to uphold.
Speaker Nancy Pelosi has stated her position on two extremely important issues: the first, declaring before the election that “impeachment is off the table;” secondly, she does not support Congress cutting funding for already deployed troop surge in Iraq. Madame Speaker, it is the American public’s responsibility to move you to reconsider these positions and use your excellent leadership skills to make sure we have the change in direction we voted for in November of 2006.
Is anybody else in America as sick and tired of this metastasizing disaster as I am? How much more are we good ‘citizen-employees’ going to take, as if we are merely the passive recipients of the downstream muck flow from bad corporate management? How much more will we take out of our children’s pockets when Vermont has nothing to offer our returning service men and women but gratitude? No jobs. No means to afford sky-rocketing housing costs. No federally assisted economic plan for a state losing its agricultural base and unable to fund the broadband infrastructure required for a technology enabled future. As of 2004, an estimated 40% of U.S. profits were generated by the financial services sector. The interest generated from our credit card, mortgage debt and banking fees is helping to finance outsourcing of jobs and the demise of our domestic manufacturing base. The financial services sector is an unregulated industry which has no interest in or obligation to invest in anything ‘solid’. History affirms when a nation reaches this level of ‘financialization,’ using money to make money, by-passing investment in physical plants, manufacturing related jobs, the tax base infrastructure supporting civilian services, or research and development of alternative energy technologies is simply the shortest straight line to ever greater unregulated profit for the finance and insurance industry while you and I are expected to pay for the war in Iraq as well as sacrifice the lives of our sons and daughters.
Our Vermont delegation heard us loud and clear on November 7th. They’re doing what they can in Congress to avoid our nation being pushed into a Constitutional crisis. On behalf of the children in our lives because we can anticipate the consequences and inevitable carnage to come following President Bush’s intransigence in ignoring feedback from his Congress, the electorate and the best of his father’s advisors it’s time for Vermonters and all Americans to take escalating action in our best interests.
Let’s help our newly elected leadership show Mr. Bush the way or the door. Or else. Think about the signal such leadership would send to the world: Americans are smart enough to resolve our most pressing dilemma and we have the back bone to do whatever it takes.
Let’s give our outstanding Congressional delegation the additional political muscle they need to lead the nation out of darkness by staging a sick out on July 5th, 2009. Just don’t go to work. Even our shrinking middle class can afford one day. What better day to begin organizing the Legislature initiating criminal proceedings against President Bush and Vice President Cheney? Perfect day to call or e-mail Senators Leahy and Sanders, and Congressman Welch and tell them we are behind them all the way. Let them know we expect their support of any and all Congressional commitments based phased withdrawal and redeployment within three months. With no negative or punitive impact on our National Guard base. Or else.
Town Meeting Day is the perfect day to call or e-mail Nancy Pelosi and tell her impeachment isn’t off the table. Ms. Pelosi doesn’t decide that, the electorate does. Call or e-mail our state legislature and Governor Douglas. Tell ‘em Vermont families can’t afford another lost life. Our failing economy can’t afford permanent national corporate tax cuts or another dollar diverted from our pressing domestic concerns. The Global Economy is passing Vermont by.
I urge all Americans but especially women with children in their lives to call in sick to Congress, the Democratic Leadership in the House and Senate and President Obama on July 5th, 2009. Let them know you’ve got a serious case of the Iraq F.L.U. (Iraq free, liberated and united in deciding its own destiny). What’s the or else? A nationwide general strike if Congress hasn’t set a date certain for phased redeployment out of Iraq.
Having a “voice” and having power so you are heard and responded to are not the same. We’ve vented, we’ve whined, we’ve discussed the Iraq war issue and have reached a political impasse that’s heading toward an Iranian cliff. It’s time to use the power we, the electorate, have to move this country in a new direction while 60% of our nation’s profit still comes from our going to our jobs every day.
No real change in direction backed up by action rather than words? No work. No peace? No work. No sane federal energy policy? NO WORK.
I intend to keep my promise to Nadja: I will do everything in my power to leave her a better, safer world in which to live. This is a promise every mother in Vermont and in America makes in her heart, no matter her station in life. This is the promise every mother of a serving son or daughter wants kept.
Terrorism: 24/7 Right Here at Home
Women and girls in the United States are not safe. Women in the United States are the object of daily terrorist attacks. It is an act of terrifying agression to be raped, kidnapped by sexual predators, molested, or sexuallyabused by strangers, family friends, or family members. These acts or terrorism blow up and destroy lives, and a woman may or may not survive. If she survives phsyically, she is never the same emotionally, and “recovery” doesn’t describe the adjustment necessary to simply go on living.
Woman and girls, your stories are welcome here. You can post them under comments anonymously if you like. Men against violence toward women, your thoughts and stories are welcome, as well. Comments are moderated and no titilating spam will go on up this site. We want to create a 24/7 focused energy on protecting women from sexual terrorism in the United States and around the globe.
Here is Germaine’s story:
Me too. Raped twice, sexually assaulted once. Only told the police about one rape, because they didn’t do one thing the first time except imply that it was my fault and make me sit through a ton of ridiculous slides trying to identify the rapist. The therapist (read: the rapist) who was a big-time psychologist, told me that my “dress was too short to wear in public” and “I wore too much lipstick”, so of course, I was giving “rape” signals. Really!! I felt raped all over again. When I read about his death in the Phila. Inquirer obits, I was so happy, I breathed a sigh of relief that I would never run into him in my life.
Sorry, but it’s true.
In fact, at one point in my life, I didn’t have one girlfriend who had NOT been sexually assaulted in some way. It’s more pervasive than we can imagine. I still have horrendous nightmares.
Preventing a Deeper Economic Depression
The stimulus package has been passed. Speculation, political analysis, and partisan response are already splashing all over every available form of media. The stock market took a tumble on the day the legislation was signed. President Obama is working hard to sell the idea that we are all in this sinking boat together, while Wall Street’s response is more geared to “What About My Yacht?”
Pundits and policy pushers alike are focusing on consumer confidence, when in fact we need to be shaping policy that takes the burden of carrying the American economy off the consumer and puts it back on to manufacturing desirable hard goods here in the USA, unions and all.
This is a much tougher sell. Our national economy can’t function let alone thrive based on the notion of consumer spending. At least President Obama’s key word is jobs. We have ample evidence that a credit-based economy, where most of us have to be in deep debt to keep up with the things in life unfortunately considered necessities and the things which really are (health care, transportation, higher education, a roof over one’s head, and good nutrition everyday) is FAILING. We’re going to pitch and help our neighbors. We understand foreclosed homes are a downward spiraling threat to our neighborhoods and communities. We going to set aside any natural sense of resentment toward the few rotten apples who were living well beyond their means, recognizing they are in the minority. We are going to take responsbility for buying a version of the American Dream that is ravaging our well-being at every level, and buying it on credit. And we are asking: Where’s our bail-out?
The obvious glitch is that banks are in the business of making money and profit. Banks make money by taking in money, holding money, and loaning money at interest. They are not in the business of loaning money at little to no interest. They are intent that holding on to money works for them, whether or not it works for their customers. How often do we find we have to wait while a deposit clears and our banks hold our funds? We are not able to charge fees to the bank for holding our money for a day or two, but we will be charged a fee if a check comes in and doesn’t clear because our funds have been held. How much profit is made anually from ATM fees?
There is no regulatory activity on the credit card financy industry (that I’m aware of ) which has a chance of becoming legislation– now. Or any regulatory changes protecting consumers from damaging credit transactions while credit card companies continue to make BILLIONS OF DOLLARS in profit. Not to mention the consumer credit evaluation and reporting system which determines who obtains credit and who is eligible for obtaining credit at reasonable rates and conditions.
We keep forgetting — through some form of very effective hypnosis and propoganda — that is is our money that makes the system run! Bank customers bring their money into a bank, and that bank gets to play with our money! Credit card companies make daily fortunes on the promised money we spend. The implicit agreement up to this past September was there is a reasonable promise of work if you are healthy and educated, you will be paid to work, even though you have to wait two weeks to be paid for the labor you provide today.
Whose idea was that? Did anyone ever come and ask you whether being paid every week worked for your personal economy? How did that one change alone, being paid every two weeks, push people into using credit cards? Thirty years ago, it was still common to be paid every Friday. We gave our labor everyday, but now loaned two weeks worth of labor to our employers instead of one. How did that happen? Why did workers just roll over and accept this change?
At this moment, President Obama is outlining the impact the home mortgage crisis and sinking home values is having on local communities — the ripple out effect rather than the trickle down theory of economics. He is hoping that a government intervention on the banking system’s “holding our money” for profit while we lose our homes, jobs and cars is a good place to begin.
But President Obama’s housing plan is aimed at shoring up the consumer debt foundation of our economy. He’s talking about restructuring loans and better interests rates. He’s effectively saying, we’re going to make it possible to stay in debt, just smaller debt. Then if you’re fortunate enough to still have a job…
You lend the business you work for money in the form of your daily work. The business you work for doesn’t pay interest on the money you lend them for two weeks! The best they do is to offer health benefits as a form of “interest” in you as a worker. Most companies now take a portion of your pay to cover the costs of your health benefits if you have them, so there goes that “interest.”
700+ billion dollars has been offered up to the country by the people who make this country run, our work force. The bail-out package we need to demand now is a bail-out package that looks like relief from consumer debt. We need regulations on bank ATM fees, credit card fees, and having consumer reporting agencies destroy our ability to participate in the system that is breaking down and has no compunction at all about taking all of us with it.
What about the rest of us?
My sister and her husband are model citizens. They both work, they are great employees, they managed their money well, they bought a home, they bought modestly priced cars, they met all of their obligations on time, and they saved. They invested their savings in 401(k) plans and into the stock market. My sister chose to retire last year. My brother-in-law planned to retire in 2010, begin to collect social security, and to find a part time job to supplement the family’s income to the allowable limit. He’d like to be a basketball referee for amateur basketball games. This was the plan before the economy tanked. These two model citizens lost one third of their retirement savings in the last year. My brother-in-law just received notice that he’s going to have make a contribution to his health care plan, the option to work overtime is gone, and two employees in his branch of the business he works for lost their jobs yesterday. These workers are both young and they don’t have families to support.
My brother-in-law is already quietly dealing with the disappointment of having to work two more years. He and my sister sat down, looked at their budget, and adjusted it. They are scaling back, saving everywhere they can. They joke about calling Obama and asking for help if my brother-in-law is laid off. They are afraid of losing their lovely home. My sister was going to buy her leased Saturn, but with GM discussing eliminating their Saturn line of cars, she probably won’t. There are four Saturn cars in this family. We can’t understand why such a good, reliable car isn’t more popular. I figure it’s because Americans have become accustomed to abuse, and are indoctrinated into the idea that you just have to buy a new car every three years because after three years your car disintegrates and becomes a money pit — as a way of fueling the automotive industry through sales of parts and the automotive repairs business.
I lost my job over a year ago. I bought my Saturn on a Monday morning — the 1993 Volvo finally died — necessary repairs would cost more than the car’s book value — and I went into work that afternoon and got laid off.
As things were with my job, my salary didn’t meet my expenses anyway. My job required regular travel, and the company policy was to reimburse those expenses — borrowing money from me to do their business — when the reimbursement process might take three to six weeks. The salary they paid me wasn’t enough to meet those additional expenses and my monthly obligations — and that was before I had no choice but to buy a good newer used car.
So, while I was employed, I took out a small line of credit. My plan was to use it as the fupfront source for work related expenses and pay the credit line back from the company’s reimbursements. That worked well until the cost of everything suddenly jumped, due to the increase in the price of gas. Suddenly food cost 10-20% more as gas climbed to over $3.00/gallon. The rent on my apartment initially included all utilities, cable, internet, garbage pick up and snow removal and lawn maintenance. My landlord couldn’t keep up with the increased costs of all those perks, and the increase in her costs of doing business and her own personal expenses. I couldn’t keep up with the additional cost of the perks, or the rising cost of food and gas. I went from being able to fully refund the line of credit every few weeks, to only being able refund have of what I had to put out, to only being able to meet the interest payment, to not having any money at all when unemployment ran out.
$41,000 a year for a single person was no longer enough to live on without being in debt either through the use of a credit card or a line of credit. I refused to buy into the revolving credit card game. I’m glad I did. My credit is now damaged because I’ve been late on two car payments and I’m unable to make payments on two small loans. I’m not receiving unemployment because when I got a real estate license the Department of Labor decided that made me an independent contractor, even though all I ever got to do was pay out money for the course, the test fees, and the local real estate board fees.
I watch companies like GM and Chrysler receiving millions of dollars in tax payer capital investments. I see some form of assistance on the way to homeowners who got caught in predatory lending schemes and/or who lost their jobs. But where is the help for someone like me? Single, almost retirement age but not quite, over-qualifed for the average down-sized job that comes with no health benefits, too young to collect social security and not having much in the system because I’ve been self-employed or a supported home-maker — now facing damage to my credit score because I have no money. No money. I’ve applied on average to no less than 10 jobs a week. I’ve applied for jobs where I might make enough to live independently and save for my retirement — that’s a $60,000 a year now. $60,000 is the new $40,000. $40,000 is the new $20,000.
To quote Lilly Bart from Edith Wharton’s novel, House of Mirth: “I’m on the rubbish heap.”
I’m too old to leap frog off the rubbish heap, and at the moment, where would I leap frog to? I suppose I will have to entertain teaching English as a second language in Korea. Leaving my family and grandchildren, and any hope of comfort and support if I encounter a serious medical set back? I’m at the age of gradual disintegration, and although I’ve taken excellent care of myself and come from healthy stock, I know it’s a crap shoot from here on out despite my intake of garlic and fish oil capsules.
I have no money. I have no job. I need a car to get to a job but I can’t make the modest payments because I have no job. Soon it will be I won’t be hired because my credit report shows me in extremis and saddled with debt I can’t pay because I don’t have a car since I couldn’t keep up with the payments because I don’t have a job. The notion of consumer confidence is presently lost on me.
I do nothing outside the home that contributes to the local economy. I have to ask relatives for gas money. I still have my car because my family has been willing to help with car payments. I don’t buy anything but gas. I don’t go out for coffee, or lunch or dinner. My grand-daughter just had her fifth birthday — right after Christmas — and I couldn’t give her any presents. Or anyone else in my family. I’m living with my sister and her husband, an enormous act of generosity. I do my part in the house in exchange for being kept afloat to the point of not having any place to live and starving. My brother is living with our mother. Another enormous act of generosity. My mother performs the same domestic functions to make life a little easier for him.
At some point (and we’re close) my mother and I will become unsustainable liablilities. Both of us are willing to work, but we no longer have the responsibility of carrying a family or of biologically producing anymore worker bees, so we are both on the rubbish heap. We are both in very good health, strong, and able to make a contribution to the “work force.” With so many people out of work who do have families to support, we are last in line for the opportunity to brng home a paycheck. At our age, we also are potential liabilities to any employer. How long will she be a healthy, reliable worker? What if I train her, and she leaves for a better job because she’s overqualified for this one?
In times past, maiden, widowed or spinster females could count on being supported by a male family member — father, brother, son, uncle — men had an sentimental inclination to be strong supports, and in exchange home functions were attended to by women who traditionally were not part of the work force. Women’s liberation ravaged that idea, and women who are not financially independent, for whatever legitimate reason, are now viewed as undesirable liabilities.
Older, single women who are imid-life ”relationships’ know they can’t count on emotional, financial or practical support from their boyfriends if hey become ill and require care-taking but they may not be able to count on their families for support, either. Or when the support is there, it maycome with subtle forms of emotional and psychological abuse, or assumptive expectations.
I’m living with my sister and her family. They are feeding me, although the food they would normally throw away as space-consuming left-overs is enough to feed me. They are putting a roof over my head. I’m not sleeping in my car. There is a television, cable and a computer with broadband Internet in my bedroom. I’m comfortable. But each day, I worry about how will I retrieve my belongings which are in another state. Where will I put them when I retrieve them? Spend money on storage fees? I can’t afford to live in my own place. Even with a good job at or near the $40,000 mark, I wouldn’t be able to afford to pay rent, all other expenses, and dig out of the whole created by being unmployed for over a year. The chances of making that kind of money as an employee in this economy at my age are exceedingly slim, yet I can’t afford to go back to college, and I refuse to take on any more DEBT. I’m not a good citizen.
What is happening in this country is a great leveling, an unsettling reckoning.
My sister who has worked hard at the same jobs, who has been married to the same man for twenty years, and who has done everything by the book is looking at as uncertain a future I as am. She is appalled by this leveling. She should not be in a situtation of this much uncertainty, on par with me, her free-wheeling gad-about sibling. My sister is having to choose whether her future looks fearful. In her growing fear, she wonders how far she can stretch in my direction? She is thinking about what will happen if she loses her home. She can’t even begin to think about what life would be like if she were to lose her husband, who is the primary breadwinner and on whom she relies for the major expenses of their life.
We are in a moment of great opportunity. Lots of healing to do with my sister as we negotiate the tension of my being here, her family’s generosity and its limits, the as yet undiscovered set of skills and resources that are going to jump-start the rest of my life, and remembering that I was laid off from a good job although inadequately compensated. My nephew lives here, too. He couldn’t afford his own apartment, car payments and living expenses even though he has a steady job and is an excellent, reliable employee. My sister and her husband expected he would be able to launch an independent life. He is not.
I am looking at being perceived as a dead leg in my family system square in the eye. I’m also facing being the chosen one to care for our elderly mother, when and if that day comes. After all, I am on my own. No husband and my children are grown, so I’m the ideal candidate. No one says this. It is simply assumed.
I watched my grandmother go through this process. She was a force majeur, a dynamic businesswoman, and a solid asset in the business partnership she had with my grandfather. Consequently, they crafted a good life together. My grandparents were financially secure. During the Depression of the 1930s, they toured Europe. In addition to owning a home and business in Philadelphia, they had a weekend, holiday and summer getaway in Bucks County, in the 1950s. My grandmother played bridge, hosted hundreds of bridge parties which was also part of networking her business, she was involved in civic affairs, and was possessed of the ceaseless flow of energy available to people who live life fully.
At the end of her life, after the death of my grandfather, she down-sized, selling their home and business, moving into a modest apartment with a maiden aunt who never married, living off of their planned retirement income until her health required her to finish her days in a nursing home. Even these changes didn’t entirely deplete her income. She died leaving two properties free and clear and $250,000 in cash assests. She got smaller, and smaller, and smaller while her income went to feed the service systems in which she was embedded by cultural default. Although she was deeply loved and respected by all of us, and we visited her in the nursing often, my grandmother graciously surrendered to shrinking down to no longer being ‘useful’ within the context of the American Dream – which in case anyone hasn’t noticed, doesn’t seem to include our elders who also contributed to making America great. Grandmother died peacefully in her sleep, and was laid to rest next to my grandfather.
My grandparents worked hard, they raised four wonderful children, they played hard, they planned well, and they left assets behind for their children. My aunts and uncles have not been able to do as much, and my generation of the family is struggling to keep our ships afloat with the painful realization we will not be leaving much behind to help our grandchildren. This is very painful for a family who believed they were plugged into the version of the American dream available to blacks. My grandparents have probably rolled over in their graves a couple of times. They worked as hard as they did to leave something behind for all of us. My grandmother promised a summer-long trip to Europe to any of her grandchildren who graduated from college. My grandparents understood the importance of the passing on of generational assests. They would both be appalled that in only two generations, their great-grandchilden have been robbed of the kind of loving assistance my grandparents shared with all of their children’s families as times and circumstances required.
How are we going to use the energy of this great leveler of financial distress of to create a shift in awareness and something new in this country? When are we going to wake up about our value in the building of the America of our past, where great fortunes where made and philanthropy substituted for public policy, and a future where public policy guides and regulates philanthropy and how fortunes are made and managed, when it is OUR MONEY — OUR LABOR AND CASH VALUE — that made this country’s wealth possible at all?
While it is UNNATURAL to be forever in a cycle of un-ending expansion, which is what our country seems to demand from life — an unending cycle of economic prosperity and opportunities to accumulate ever greater platforms of wealth, and endless possibilities of capitalist based commerce, we all need to be clear that life will not support this desire. I repeat, it is unnatural, especially when American power and wealth have been framed through the structure of global competition rather than global cooperation. Since we were unable to correct ourselves in time, life is correcting us — and this is always a much more arduous and painful past, which includes breaking down whatever is out of balance. Since 2000, the election of George W. Bush, and the implementation of his tragically skewed policies, America has been horribly out of balance.
I encourage us all to push our government even harder by demanding that not only home loans be restructured, but that credit card and other consumer debt be restructured without damaging a consumer’s credit standing. Unemployment compensation, while helpful, isn’t enough to cover the average person’s modest and well-controlled expenses.
We need to ask our elected officials to adapt domestic economic policy effectively weaning this country off consumer debt as the key gross domestic product, a product we export by financing out debt to countries like China. We need to require new regulations on banks, eliminating ATM fees and other compounding credit card fees. Support your local, small community bank or credit union.
Remember, when all is said and done, if you’re working — IT’S YOUR MONEY. You lend money to banks by depositing your money with them. You lend money to your employer by loaning him your labor in exchange for a promise to pay you — in two weeks. If you demanded cash payment for you labor, if we all did — things would change really quickly. If you demanded cash payment and stopped putting your money into a bank, things would change radically. I don’t support a fear-based run on major banks. I do support scrutiny off Swiss bank accounts and off-shore tax shelters. End the war in Iraq, tax the folks who can afford to hire the advisors who assist them in not paying the taxes they should while taking every advantage being an American citizen offers them. Taxing these rich? Absolutely. Defund the Pentagon? Absolutely. Our military industrial complex and contractors like Haliburton have had they hay-day. Enough. I do support understanding being smarter about where we put the money we have left. Nationalize the banks if necessary. Put a temporary cap on capitalism until economic equilibrium is restored. Socialism. No. Communism? Common social sensism? Yes. We now own AIG. Let’s hope the rdinary American AIG insures continues to have salary and/or wages to pay those insurance premiums! Many of us are now “self-insured” since we have invested so much taxpayer money into AIG. Don’t you wish we’d had just contributed this much to universal health care? That’s an idea that is “too big to fail.”
This is what is known as leverage, or a bargaining chip.
